The passage of time is a mysterious thing. Remember when you were young how long a year seemed… the wait for Christmas and Birthdays. Even at university there seemed to be time – time for hanging around, time for playing all night Risk, time for sitting on the lawn drinking, chatting and planning life.
Then everything happened at once – career – children… no time for anything much at all except making a living, getting the kids into the right schools, moving house, … and endless whirl of survival and striving to claw the way up the ladders.
Then whoosh…. suddenly one day you notice it is over. The children are grown up. At work people start asking about retirement plans. Suddenly life is scary all over again. I feel restless, in flux, suddenly I have choices again. I can do anything I want!
But what is this fear I feel inside? I have enough money, I’m proud of what I have achieved, I’ve worked incredibly hard all my life. Surely now I deserve to wind down and do more things I enjoy? Why is that so scary?
I’ve been reflecting on this for a while now – my work has been my life. My work has defined who I am and I have no regrets about that. But without my work who am I?
Without work where is my community? Where will I get my recognition? How will I continue to satisfy my need to make a difference, to feel significant, to feel like I matter?
Scary stuff. These are not things I have ever thought about before. I have always known why I am bothering, what the next goal is, what I am aiming for…..
Now what is the vision for my future? Where am I going to live? What am I going to do with my days? How am I going to satisfy my needs for recognition, connection and significance? I have never thought about my needs for these things before – so often it is not until something is about to be taken away that we realise how important they are. I think we all want to be significant – to feel we are making a difference in some way.
Scary but exciting too – a whole new chapter in my life to design and live. Exciting times ahead!
