When I’m coaching lawyers I often hear them say ‘I just wish I had more confidence’. They describe not feeling able to speak up in meetings and then feeling frustrated that their voice does not get heard. They describe working hard to ‘fit in’ which means towing the party line when they don’t really agree with it. They describe worrying about whether they are doing a great job for their clients – even when all the evidence says that they are. They talk about working all hours to try to compensate for their perceived lack of being up to the job. They worry about being found out as a fraud. The more perceptive recognise that their fear makes them over defensive whenever they are challenged.
The problem with this lack of confidence is that they then never stand out, they are not seen as innovators, they are not considered as leadership material. This means that they get overlooked for partnership – the opposite to what they wanted.
This has been floating around in my head for a few weeks now as I have spotted my first snowdrops, followed by the crocuses and now the many hosts of golden daffodils in full bloom. The bulbs have been nurtured by the light and warmth of the sun and the nutrients in the soil. Any that lacked the things they needed to bloom have just withered away unseen.
I believe that we all have a life purpose – the reason we exist – the reason we were born. Now of course I have no way of knowing if that is true or not – but believing it makes me feel important and helps to give me the courage to do the things that matter to me.
What I am sure about is that when I am doing things that are in alignment with my life purpose I feel fulfilled – I feel that I am making a difference – that the world is a better place because I am here and that is a good feeling.
I have been observing my brain in the week leading up to my book being published tomorrow. Why does it treat me so harshly – making me anxious and stopping me from sleeping?
I am crystal clear on why I wrote this book – I have something to say. Over the last 30 years or so I have learnt a lot of lessons and I want to share these. I am proud of the book. I invested hundreds of hours of early morning time writing it and I really hope people will read it.
So why am I so scared?
I’m feeling rather pleased with myself! I have been working hard on the final push to get my book finished. I have just finished the last chapter ‘Do your best work – live your best life’.
I have spent quite a lot of time over the last few years exploring the difference between doing ‘most work’ and doing ‘best work’. Historically I was a most work sort of girl – I have a huge capacity for work, first to arrive, last to leave and choosing to work many weekends. I thought this was the way to make most progress and progress was important – I was passionate about the work I was doing. It was fun to a point but frequently I was exhausted and overwhelmed.
I believe it was Kevin Nations who came up with the metaphor of the Magician and the Mule.
My year started rather differently this year. I have just got a new puppy ‘Alfie’ and he was terrified by the fireworks at midnight so I spent the first few hours of 2018 sleeping with him on the sofa! I have fallen head over heels in love with this mutt. Anyway, thanks to Alfie, New Year’s Day dawned hangover free and I spent the day setting my goals for 2018.
I have returned now from a wonderful walking holiday in the Western USA. I have seen some amazing sites including the Grand Canyon (one off my bucket list) which was amazing. However my favourite moment of the holiday was in the Canyonlands National Park. We walked on the ‘Island in the Sky’ to the rim of a huge canyon where we sat in silence for a few minutes just listening to the sound of the desert – amazing!
I have been back for nearly two weeks now and I have found the jet lag really hard! Going west was not so difficult just a matter of staying up for as long as possible but coming home after a couple of weeks on Pacific Time has been a completely different story. The first thing I always do when I return from holiday is re-establish my ‘magic morning’ routine.
STOP PRESS! I woke up to the horrendous news this Monday morning. It is a very sad Vegas I am leaving behind. God Bless America!
I’m in Las Vegas for the very first time! I was expecting it to be big but the reality outstrips every expectation! It is the most ridiculous place I have ever been! I don’t know if I love it or hate it but I do know that after two days I need to get out into some real world!
I love it when I’m asked to speak – I will turn my hand to almost any management or leadership topic.
Recently I’ve been asked to give two talks, the first on ‘Resilience and how to build it’ and the second on ‘Personal Brand’. Two very different subjects – or so I first thought!
I started with the question “what is Resilience?”
As most readers will know by now I believe we all create our own universe. Think about it – that is how you got to be reading this blog – you created it for yourself. You made hundreds of little decisions over the course of your life which ended up with you sitting wherever you are sitting right now reading this!
I have believed we create our own universe for a long time – but it is only recently I have come to believe that I do my best work when I am kind to myself and build in a little relaxation and re-creation! I was reflecting on this on Saturday night and I decided to put the two beliefs together and have a go at creating a perfect day!